I love you this big.

lovelorn-xo:

castielsteenwolf:

so my family plays this game where if someone is holding something and you yell “drop the bass” they have to drop what they’re holding so my mom was holding a carton of eggs so i yelled it and she looked me dead in the eye, dropped then eggs on the floor and whispered “you’ve gone too far

adopt me

(via stolker)

nativeandnaive:

legendxofxzach:

One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-

You fucking champ

(via stolker)

guy:

stability:

What do you mean most people leave their rooms before noon

What do you mean most people leave their rooms

(via stolker)

mrteavg:

GIRLS: if ur at a party and a guy hands you his phone to put ur number into, text REDCROSS to 90999 and he’ll donate $10 to hurricane relief

(via braydaaan)

princexposition:

when ur mom says you need to get a job but u know ur not ready

image

(via braydaaan)


Lana Del Rey for Rolling Stone Magazine

Lana Del Rey for Rolling Stone Magazine

(Source: dellrey, via conceitedhoe)

keatchi:

itssofluffy-im-gonna-die:

h4te:

i want to go on a shopping trip where i am the only one in the shopping mall and everything i want is free

that’s called night robbery 

so be it

(Source: h4te, via braydaaan)

thewaywardqueen:

theresaworldoutsideyourdoor:

oknope:

pondifying:

reasons to be a mermaid

  • no periods
  • no pants

u forgot these:

  • perfect hair
  • free clam bra
  • u get to lure man

Cons:
There are no cons

Con: no wifi or technology in the ocean

(via karkittysplushrump)

lovemesomesouleater:

fabmarymorstan:

sherolck:

"frozen is the first disney movie to deal with sibiling relationships and not romance"

image

Is that an example or a reaction?

yes

(Source: sherolck, via braydaaan)

jncera:

If your name is nancy and you get pregnant you will be pregnancy

(via braydaaan)

i-have-no-idea-what-to-say:

unclefather:

girls, don’t ever let a man tell u ya vagina is ugly or unworthy of his mouth and tongue. men can’t say shit when they got that lumpy vienna sausage with hair on it and two long eggs wrapped up in some loose skin. ya vagina is beautiful and if a man wanna talk shit he can go slap his balls up against someone elses asshole. 

The greatest thing i have ever read

(via melaniemloiacono)

legolokiismighty:

i would hire him for this flyer alone

legolokiismighty:

i would hire him for this flyer alone

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via braydaaan)